A Criminal Record on Day One
Born at dawn, out of the cradle by noon, by evening he had stolen Apollo’s fifty sacred cattle, driving them backward to leave reversed tracks. When caught, he traded the lyre he had made from a tortoise shell for Apollo’s pardon; Zeus laughed through the whole affair and appointed him messenger of the gods on the spot.
Slayer of the Hundred-Eyed Giant
Sent by Zeus to free Io, guarded by the hundred-eyed giant, he lulled all hundred eyes to sleep one by one with his flute, then struck off the giant’s head, earning the name "Slayer of Argus." The most elegant jailbreak in all of myth.
The Herb That Saved Odysseus
The witch Circe turned Odysseus’s companions into swine. Hermes appeared and handed Odysseus the herb "moly," a black root with a white flower, that made the magic fail. The messenger always shows up at the story’s pivotal moment with exactly the right prop in hand.